When Everything Feels Wrong but Nothing Is
Lost in the Silence of My Own Mind
There are days when I wake up feeling heavy, as if an invisible weight is pressing down on my chest. It’s not the kind of sadness that grows from something. It’s not because of overthinking, a fight with someone I love, or even a bad day.
It’s just… there.
The hardest part about feeling this way is not knowing why.
I try to explain it to myself, to put a name on whatever feeling that I am currently in, but words never came. I think about my life and everything that is happening in it — no problems that I am aware of, no obvious tragedies, and yet, the heavy feeling lingers, as if it’s just there mocking me for not figuring it out.
Sometimes, I wonder if this is what it means to feel lost.
People often asks, “What’s wrong?” “Are you okay?” but how do I answer when even I do not know? How will I explain the kind of sadness that doesn’t seem to have a cause? it’s easier to tell them “I’m fine” and leave it like that than to explain things.
But I know to myself that I am not fine.
Throughout I learned that these kinds of feelings doesn’t need any reason to exist. Sometimes, our hearts and minds just feels tired even if everything in the surface seems fine. And that is valid.
I always try to remind myself that it is fine to not figure it all out, to feel lost sometimes, and it’s okay to feel sad without any reason or explanation. I don’t need to justify my feelings to anyone — not even to myself.
So, On days like these, I try to be gentle with myself. I let myself feel the heaviness and not fight it, for these feelings are also worth embracing. I give myself permission to pause, to rest, to sit with the discomfort.
For now, I’ll remind myself that these feelings, unexplainable and confusing as it may seem, It is not forever. Even if I don’t know what’s wrong, I’ll keep going. Because It’s just a moment in time — a wave that will eventually pass, and the only thing I can do is embrace it, and for now, it’s enough.
